The NICU is some place I wish parents didn't have to visit. With Sammy, we thought as long as he came after 37 weeks, we could avoid the NICU. He was born at 37 weeks and 4 days but sadly still had to go to the NICU.
Many parents have it way worse than we did. Sammy had to stay for 10 days and here describes our experience and emotions.
Sammy was born at 10:06 PM on 8/8/16. Kris and I were exhausted after a day and a half waiting for his arrival but we were so excited to hold him and have it for the full night. We noticed right away that he had strong lungs because he screamed a lot and it was very loud! Kris and I decided to rotate every hour with Sammy so we could both hold him but also get sleep. Kris took the first shift because I was so exhausted. Sammy had to be held very still and in the same position. If he was moved, he would scream. He also liked sound so we turned on the Olympics to soothe him. With how particular he was, I knew we were going to have our hands full. At 3 AM, I asked the nurse how to get sleep because he kept screaming. She insisted that we have him sent to the nursery for a few hours so we could get sleep. I felt like a bad parent but she said it's very common for babies to go to the nursery the first night. At 5 AM, they brought him back one last time. He kept screaming and wouldn't eat. Something felt wrong so they took him for some tests. The next thing we knew, he was in the NICU . Samuel ended up being in the NICU from August 9th to August 18th.
Day 1-8/9
When Sammy was admitted to the NICU, we were told he possibly had an infection and would most likely have to stay 48 hours. That time frame didn't seem so bad.
Since I was on magnesium, the plan was to keep me on it all day to watch my blood pressure. My blood pressure had been low so I was able to talk the doctor into letting me off of it early so I could go visit Samuel.
Around 10 AM, my family arrived back at the hospital (my parents and grandparents) and I was ready to visit Sammy. Going up to the NICU wasn't too bad but as soon as I saw Sammy I bawled. I couldn't believe how many cords were attached to our little baby. I was so surprised that it affected me so much! I knew they were taking good care of him but I felt so helpless for him.
The nurse informed us that they would be testing for an infection, pneumonia, and meningitis. She said that most likely it was just an infection because otherwise he would show more symptoms. Instead of 48 hours though, he would have to stay 7-10 days. With Sammy in the NICU, Kris and I were the only ones who could hold him. I felt bad for my family because they were going to have to go home without ever holding Sammy. My mom decided to stay the week to help as needed.
As the day went on, I had to take care of myself and move my things to a recovery room. We ended up finding out that Samuel was a fighter because the tests were showing that he had an infection and pneumonia. We would not hear back about meningitis for at least 24 hours.
Day 2-8/10
Around 3 AM, I woke up and was very nervous about Sammy. Luckily, I was still staying at the hospital so I had the nurse take me up to see him. I hated being away from him. I could barely stand so the nurse brought me a chair so I could lay my head beside him and hold his hand. Before Sammy was admitted to the NICU, I was opposed to pacifiers because I knew they would affect latching for breastfeeding but watching him I realized that the pacifier was he relief. He stayed calm any time he had his pacifier even if he was being poked and moved around.
Due to being sick, Sammy didn't want to eat nor could he because of low oxygen levels. He slept most of the day but Kris and I both were able to hold him. He was so precious but you could tell he didn't feel well. He would scream if he was moved too much.
At 6 PM, I was discharged but we stayed with Sammy until around 10 PM to make sure he was okay. I was not prepared for the emotion that would hit on my way home. I felt fine leaving the hospital. I was even grateful to be able to sleep in my own bed. On the way home though, we got cut off by a van and I lost it. I cried the whole way home. Nerves overcame me and I couldn't believe that I just left Sammy at the hospital. I knew it was best for me to go home and sleep but I felt like a piece of me was missing. I knew then that my life had changed forever. My mom suggested that we pick up pizza to make me feel a little better! Oddly enough, I still love pizza even after eating a ton of pizza during my pregnancy.
Sad new mom
Day 3-8/11
This was the first day that we had to drive in to see Sammy. My mom and I got to the hospital around 9 AM. I walked in the room to find Sammy under lights. I took one look and started crying. I knew the lights were for jaundice but it made me sad that he had to deal with yet another thing! I thought I was going to lose it.
The day ended up being very rough. I was super emotional and the nurses were very rude for some reason. They did not like that my mom was with me rather than my husband (even though you can have up to 4 people in the room). Sammy was really fussy as well but I couldn't hold him to calm him down. He had to stay under the lights unless we were trying to breastfeed. He only acted hungry 2x so I was able to hold him twice to attempt to feed him.
Since he was going to stay longer, they attempted to put a more permanent IV in his head. Sammy had too much hair for the nurses to find a vein so they had to keep an IV in his hand. The good news is that he most likely did not have meningitis. We would know for sure when all the lab work came in.
Before I left, I read to Sammy to make sure he knew I was there and cared even if I couldn't hold him
Day 4- 8/12
Instead of being excited to see my so, I was super stressed out to get to the hospital. We usually arrived around 9 AM and would stay until 10 or 11 PM. Then head home to get sleep.
We arrived at little after 9 and before I could check in, Sammy's nurse called. She said he was hungry and wanted me to try to feed him. I rushed to get to him so I could help. I was relieved when I found out the nurse was nice and wanted to help with Sammy to the best of her ability (much relief from the day before).
Since Sammy was hungry, we started him on a 3 hour breastfeeding rotation. I was so excited because that meant I could hold him.
I felt like he was finally started to improve. He went down to 1 light for jaundice and 1 antibiotic for the infection. The doctors were able to fully rule out meningitis too! (I forgot to mention that they had to do a lumbar puncture on Sammy to test him. Poor baby!)
The charge nurse came to talk to me one on one. I think she knew we had had a bad experience the day prior. I felt like I couldn't say too much but I told her that we were unclear on certain aspects of his care and sometimes felt like we were in the way. She told me to come to her if we had any concerns. Luckily, our day was much better!
Day 5- 8/13
Today was the best day yet! It felt like Sammy was making progress and we could see it! He no longer needed an IV for feeding and would be on strictly breast milk. He continued to only need one IV medication. He no longer needed the lights for jaundice and he was able to move to a normal crib! The improvements helped me worry less!
My parents were actually able to hold Sammy since he was doing so well! They were excited.
Kris and I were finally able to practice picking him up on our own and taking care of him when he needed something. It was nice to get the practice in before going home.
At the end of the day, it was hard to leave Sammy because he was so hungry. I made sure to leave plenty of milk for the night. Kris and I learned really quickly that once Sammy started feeling better, his favorite thing to do was to eat.
Day 6- 8/14
Today was hard for Mom and Nanny. Nanny and Grandpa Greg had to leave to head home. Kris and I would be left to take care and watch after Sammy on our own. We never planned on taking Sammy home by ourselves but would have to since he was still in the NICU.
Kris and I started learning to sleep on baby's schedule so we could actually get sleep. Sammy was started to feel better too because he was only crying for actual needs instead of from being sick. It was a nice relief. We found out that Sammy loves eating and cuddle time. He is so strong that he tries to hold a bottle on his own as well. Kris and I also started learning how to help one another and could successfully say that we mastered diaper changes and swaddling.
It was nice to see a family routine coming together.
Day 7- 8/15
Sammy ended up having a very busy day today. The doctor said that is a good sign because he is starting to get stronger and is almost ready to go home. Sammy would still have to stay until late Thursday or early Friday.
Today I was able to arrive earlier than normal so I spent a good hour cuddling Sammy before the day began. Then the day took off with a bang. The speech specialist came and tested out Sammy's suck for his tongue. He had a slight tongue tie and they wanted to determine whether or not he needed to have it clipped. Sammy's suction was good but the doctor determined that it would still be best to clip it so she scheduled the clipping for the next day.
The next task was his hearing test. Sammy passed his hearing test with flying colors!
The last big thing was his circumcision. I knew he was going to have it done but I was nervous. Kris and I walked him down to the room where they would do the procedure and I bawled like a baby. They told us we could stay and hold his hand but I couldn't see him in pain.
The rest of the night, Kris and I took turns holding him to comfort him (they said he may be extra fussy after everything). I decided to stay the night to continue comforting him as well.
Over night, the first (which is probably not the last) scary moment happened. Sammy stopped breathing. Sammy loves to eat super fast so we have to be careful while feeding him. While I was giving him a bottle in the middle of the night, he stopped breathing. His monitors were going off but they did all the time due to him kicking things off. I ignored them and kept feeding him since he was still sucking. A nurse came in and thought I was crazy! She told me to hand him over and that he wasn't breathing. I told her I didn't know because he was still sucking and didn't show any signs of not breathing. I felt horrible. He was okay but the nurse acted like I didn't know what I was doing. Once she left, I just held him tight and cried for awhile. I felt like the worst mom in the world.
Hearing Test
Day 8- 8/16
Today started off wrong because I was trying to operate on 2 hours of sleep. We kept the lights low and cuddled until the doctor came.
Sammy started the day off by having his tongue clipped. He didn't cry or anything. It didn't seem to bother him at all.
During the day, Kris and I found out that it takes 2 hours at a time to take care of Sammy so I only have 1 hour to relax before the next feeding. I was really stressed and swollen so I ended up having to go to my doctor. It turns out that my blood pressure was out of control still and I was having sign of post-eclampsia. She told me that I couldn't stay in the NICU and needed to rest as much as possible and that I would have to take medicine until I could get it under control. Poor Kris had to take more care of Sammy so I could make sure I was following the doctor's orders.
Kris and I headed home and straightened Sammy's room for his arrival home.
Day 9-8/17
Today ended up being our last full day in the NICU. The first thing Sammy did was have his newborn pictures taken. He was so precious and cute the whole time. I was glad we decided to take a few in the hospital.
Kris and I were able to learn how to bathe Sammy today. We found out that he did not like bath time and screamed the whole time.
Today was such a productive day as we learned all the "at home" take care tips but then the day took a turn for the worse. The NICU ended up overflowing with babies. Since Sammy was a healthy baby, he was going to be moved. At first, we didn't mind and then we saw the room.
The room they moved us too was around the size of our closet. It wouldn't have been awful if it was just us but we had to share the room with another baby. There wasn't even enough room for Kris and I to sit down. Emotions overtook me and I bawled. I couldn't believe we were moved to such a small space. My blood pressure was already high and I knew I wouldn't be able to relax in the room. The nurse had no idea how to comfort me. I felt like they didn't want us to spend time with Sammy.
Kris and I eventually had to leave because I couldn't contain myself. I was so sad to leave him but we couldn't sit by him or help with anything. We were just in the way. Kris took me out to eat and bought me a cupcake to make me feel better. The only good thing that came out of the situation is that I was able to go home and get more sleep.
Day 10-8/18
Today was finally the day! The day we were able to head home. Sammy's small space was set up better today and they gave us two chairs so we could actually sit by him. It was nice to be able to feed him and be with him.
Kris and I did head out for a few hours since the room was still cramped. I was able to take my first "Mommy" trip to Target. Target is a dangerous place now that I have a newborn!
As it neared the time for Sammy to leave, he had to have his IV removed from his head. He screamed so hard when it was removed. Kris had to hold him because I couldn't. Sammy left weighting close to his original birth weight-9 lbs. 9 oz. Kris and I dressed him in his doggie outfit to go home and meet Sierra. We finally left the hospital at 6:30 PM. It was so nice to finally take our baby home.
Luckily, our NICU experience was short but having to keep your baby at the hospital is never easy. Kris and I appreciate all the prayers and support everyone gave us while we were there with Sammy. We enjoyed the visitors and the meals everyone helped with as well. Glad to have a healthy little man now!
